As far as I can tell from reading the reports, a trade “deal” with the European Union consists of this:
— The Europeans agree to agree to all the parts of the agreement that they agree with, but not with the parts that offend people in Wallonia, a lightly-populated area of Belgium.
— The parts of the agreement that offend Wallonia will be taken off and locked in a separate room, where there are no windows and no visible means of escape.
— The rest of the agreement will be presented to the other 27 countries in Europe for a vote. Since Wallonia is the only part of Europe holding up the agreement, it’s pretty certain they will agree. But, the European Union being an entity run by bureaucrats, the whole thing will then have to be ratified – meaning another show of hands – which could take four years and give other odd little regions like Wallonia an opportunity to think up new ways to railroad the plan.
— Even if the agreement passes that hurdle, it won’t be completed. First, someone will have to let the offending portions out of the locked room and lead them back into the light, where Walloons can throw up their hands again and shriek, “My God, we thought you were dead!”
These uncertainties may be why Chrystia Freeland, the International Trade Minister, demonstrated considerable restraint in welcoming Thursday’s supposed breakthrough, in which the EU agreed to accept the pact, pending a change of mind.
“While today, this morning, we absolutely had a positive development, there are still many steps to be taken and I want to be sure that Canadians appreciate that even after signing, the process will not be completed,” she said.
If you can’t get along with Canada, especially one run by its nicest-ever government, you need to seriously question your social skills.
Freeland speaks from experience. Having devoted a year to the excruciating business of trying to wheedle a straight answer from the mammoth bureaucratic behemoth that is the EU government in Brussels, only to discover none of it mattered unless a group of truculent Wallonian leftwingers could be won over, she is clearly reluctant to raise any false hopes. Freeland has endured considerable flack for her emotional response to the collapse of talks a week ago, but seriously, if you’d put a year of good faith effort into torturous negotiations with the representatives of 28 countries, only to be told you now had to get the final nod from some local Walloonian honcho named Magnette, wouldn’t you want to cry? It’s as if Justin Trudeau, having won his majority last October, was told he couldn’t take the oath unless he could get the mayor of Portage la Prairie to sign off on it.
Canadians who wondered why the people of Britain would vote to quit the EU now have their answer. They’ve been putting up with this stuff for decades, banging their heads every time they received a new missive indicating that some no-name apparatchik in Brussels had decided that, henceforth, bananas with “abnormal curvature” would be banned from sale, or that bottled water companies would not be allowed to suggest water was good for avoiding dehydration, or that people with diabetes should be banned from driving.
Sure there were any number of respected figures who argued that Brexit would be a self-inflicted disaster, but Britons had already decided for themselves that it was better to go it on their own, and risk the results, rather than continue to subject themselves to the madness of the world’s most dysfunctional, disunited “union.”
EU leaders were highly upset at the Brexit vote, which they blamed on British voters being dunderheads. But now they’re faced with the reality that even nice, patient, friendly Canadians — the people the world likes to mock for being so freakishly polite — find them impossible to deal with. You could sense awareness of that fact in the words of European Parliament President Martin Schulz, when, in announcing Thursday’s “breakthrough,” he added: “I think we should be very grateful that the Canadians kept patient and remained available for us.”
You better believe it, buddy. If you can’t get along with Canada, especially one run by its nicest-ever government, you need to seriously question your social skills.
All that said, Canadians shouldn’t hold their breath waiting for this agreement to be finalized. The portion that’s been removed is a key part of the pact, and is a standard feature in Canadian free trade agreements. At some point it will have to be let free to frighten Wallonia all over again. Having already been exposed to Wallonian hospitality, it’s questionable whether anyone in Ottawa will be keen on a return visit.
National Post
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