I do not have children. And yet, on an average day, I am inundated by kids. On the bus, the subway; at the grocery store, the library; when I’m out to dinner. I can hear them. I can smell them. And – whether they’re having their diaper changed on the seat next to me or throwing a fit at the table across from me – I can see them.
I have nothing against children. I even love some of them. I’d like to pop out a few one day. But in the meantime, I feel as though we’d all benefit from putting a single principle into practice: keeping some places just for adults. Because not everything needs to accommodate a child.
This shouldn’t need to be said, but leave it to kids to worm their way into child-free spaces and make it all about them. In an effort to draw more parents back to the theatre, Mexico-based movie theatre chain Cinepolis announced its plans this week for a new in-theatre playground concept, Cinepolis Junior, which will make its U.S. debut at two Southern California locations next week.
The auditoriums will feature a colourful play area near the screen in front of the seats, a jungle gym and beanbag chairs, with the cost of a movie ticket $3 more than the average. “It’s really intended to make kids feel welcome and comfortable,” said Cinepolis USA Chief Executive Adrian Mijares Elizondo to the L.A. Times. “The whole idea is to make it easier for parents to take their kids to the movies and let the kids have more fun.”
In all of the recent efforts major theatre chains have been making in an attempt to draw more viewers, from VIP screenings to moving chairs, there can be no more life-like viewing experience than a kid saddled next to your ear as he trips his way down a jungle gym in the middle of a theatre.
How exactly is a movie enjoyed with the ear-splitting cacophony of children screaming, hollering, squealing and, god forbid, crying or fighting just over on the not-so-distant other side of the room? Forget cell phones, this is the real crime against the cinema-going set.
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How will a parent enjoy a movie when they have one eye trained on their kids in the corner? What happens when the kids inevitably spill on to the stairs, get hurt or need a moment of discipline? Frankly, what Cinepolis has proposed is not a movie theatre. It’s an in-house playground with a movie that just happens to be playing in the background.
One imagines if you can afford movie tickets for the whole family, you can just as easily spend that money on a babysitter or daycare, and treat yourself and your partner to a night out at the movies — or wherever it is your heart desires – and leave your spawn at home.
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