One Toronto man broke up a revenge porn website targeting the gay community. Photo: Fotlia The massive leak of celebrity nude photos this week prompted a chorus of protests that it was an invasion of privacy, possibly a sex crime, and certainly misogynistic to look at these images, or even revenge porn in general. A hard earned victory for women in a lost battle for these celebs.
But two days earlier, a video of 5SOS bass player Calum Hood’s penis sent over Snapchat was shared with the rest of the internet. The general response was “what a moron” and the clip was posted without abandon or censor on sites like Gawker. Hood tweeted an apology for his “mistake.”
But Hood isn’t the first or the last male celeb to be publicly derided instead of his privacy defended. Last fall leaked nudes of Disney alum Dylan Sprouse prompted a tweet that he “messed up.”
While the situations for these male and female celebrities are only a few shades from each other, the attitudes are light-years apart. These boys are at fault, should apologize for being exposed, and shouldn’t feel like victims — an attitude borne of ignorance that allows these images to be shared and the websites to stay up because it’s only an issue when girls are involved.
The truth is, guys, it can happen to you. I know because it did to me.
At the start of 2014 a friend who was living abroad sent me a frantic message and a link. His nude image had been posted online with his face and name attached. He asked for my help since his English isn’t perfect, and he wasn’t in the country. As I clicked through images of hundreds of guys culled from private e-mail exchanges and sexting, I saw many faces and names I recognized from around Toronto (plus more I didn’t). Then I saw my own dick staring back at me.
I hit the web to find out what to do.
All the stories about revenge porn were about girls and young women. I didn’t see any precedent for blogs targeting guys and worried we wouldn’t be taken seriously while trying to get these images down.
I read the Digital Millennium Copyright Act and contacted the blogging service. I was provided the host’s email address, but it drew no hits on Google. A brick wall.
Google didn’t have many tips for guys dealing with revenge porn (Photo by Chris Jackson/Getty Images)
As a last ditch effort, I plugged the email address into Facebook. Bingo. The criminal mastermind behind this exploitation blog hadn’t bothered to use a burner email address and suddenly I had a clear view of him, his name, his occupation and his place of residence.
Once again, for most victims out there, this would probably be time to contact a lawyer, but I had an ace in the hole: I knew this loser and I had dirt on him.
I had briefly dated this scumbag the year before — and it should probably come as no surprise that I broke it off when he started to give off a creepy vibe. I knew he was in Canada seeking a refugee claim. So I made a casual phone call to the dirtbag and explained over his denials the awkward predicament that his name was the only one attached to a seedy internet porn ring and I would absolutely hate to get a lawyer involved because I would feel just awful since it would probably lead to his deportation. What a nice guy I am.
It’s not the most above-board of tactics, but neither were his. Plus it worked. The blog he swore he had no involvement with was offline within minutes of our chat.
When the story of this ruggedly handsome folk hero’s takedown spread through friends of mine in the media, I got a call from a producer of one of Canada’s top television newsmagazines. They were interested in doing a segment. After the outrage over the suicides of Rehtaeh Parsons and Amanda Todd I thought this would be a good opportunity for any boys and young men victimized to know they aren’t alone, have the right to their privacy, and have options to help them.
After I had told my story, the reaction of the producer was less optimistic.
So it was just guys? That’s right. No girls? Not that I saw, no.
I knew first hand that revenge pron is a problem for the hundreds of men who were victims of that particular website, and for the thousands more exposed online.
I was told revenge porn against guys wasn’t the story they wanted to tell. The producer said there wasn’t enough information on it and it doesn’t really seem to be a problem.
Of course, I knew first hand it is a problem for the hundreds of men who were victims of that particular website, and for the thousands more exposed online.
Cyberbullying, revenge porn, privacy, and the protection of our own bodies are problems that affect — and can hurt — everyone, from celebrities to normal Canadians, men and women, boys and girls. For those without my good luck and b.s. skills, it can mean thousands in legal bills and a permanent loss of a sense of privacy. And, for boys, it also means being a victim in silence.
— Travis Myers is a freelance writer, editor and graphic designer in Toronto
Follow @TravMyers
No comments:
Post a Comment